Jeff & Tamzin - Mixed Emotions
by Optimus95
Summary: This story carries on from Casualty series 28 episode 45 – Jeff and Tamzin have been working together for a while at the ambulance station being cheeky and flirtatious with each other on and off shifts, can they truly admit their feelings for each other before it's too late?
1. Drunken admissions

Tamzin's P.O.V

After drinking my sorrows and cold hearted feelings away that my fiancé Dave had fobbed me off with yet another excuse that he had to work late at the office. I held back on admitting my true feelings at the ambulance station that Jeff would cancel his date tonight and instead come to the pub tonight with myself and Big Mac, spend time with us but mostly comfort me. But I pushed Jeff away and into the arms of another woman, of who he would spend the evening with at her home, I drown my thoughts away from Jeff and his date and tried to enjoy happy hour with Big Mac as much as I could. After a one to many my head was spinning and I was stumbling and bashing into things on the way out of the pub to catch some fresh air. My foot smacking off the edge of the pavement and I flew forward into a wall, a soft wall that tightened its grips on my hips and slowly raised my head, seeing the bluest eyes I've ever seen

'Are you alright Tams?' his voice growled

'Yeah I'm ok Jeff' but that was a total lie, I was thrilled that he was and caught me from falling flat on my face than being on his date tonight

'Do you want to sit down' I nodded my head lightly and placed my arms around Jeff's neck, cradling him forward and mouths lined up. I leaned forwards and our lips met for a second then pulled away, feeling a spark when we our lips met I kissed Jeff again

Jeff P.O.V

I feel of Tamzin's lips against mine was the softest lips I've ever kissed and I knew this was so wrong but it felt so right, my lips coaxed her mouth open as I slid my tongue in and kissed her back. I had wanted to kiss Tamzin for months if not years when I first met her on her first day at Holby, I broke the kiss before one of our colleagues from the ED saw us and I didn't want them to spread gossip around the whole department a few months before her big day but I wanted her more than she knew.

Tamzin slid her arm through mine and laid her head down on my shoulders as I lead her back to my house, opening the front door I lead Tamzin through to the lounge as she crashed down on it and I grabbed her some bottled water from the fridge, sitting down next to her on the couch

'You may want to drink this'

'Thanks Jeff'

'Well this is awkward' I sighed, perching back and forth on the edge of the sofa

'What is?'

'Are we just gonna sit here and pretend nothing happened outside the pub or are we gonna talk about it the kiss'

'Look Jeff the kiss doesn't me anything…it was a silly mistake and I shouldn't of done that, you're one of my closest friends'

'But yeah, you stilled kissed me though'

'Eh you kissed me back and it was a drunken mistake and you knew what you were doing'

'I didn't take advantage of you if that's what you're getting too; you came onto me Tams' I teased

'Let's just forget about it Jeff I made a mistake but I love my fiancé, it would kill him if he found out' Tamzin huffed as I bet she rarely thought about him when we kissed like she wanted something to happen between us to get rid of the neglect of her fiancé, just wanting a reason to kiss me.

Tamzin lowered her gaze from mine and her eyelids closed slowly, drifting into sleep as her head fell back on the top of the couch. Raising myself quietly from the sofa I lowered Tamzin down on her side and grabbed the blanket on the back of the couch and draped it over her…..

Tamzin's P.O.V

My nostrils sniffed and nose twitched as I smelled the fresh scent of coffee and my eyes flickered open quickly as realisation sunk in that I stayed out the entire night. Removing the blanket that I didn't cover myself with and rose from the sofa, following the sweet smell of coffee to the kitchen

'Morning Tams, you look completely wrecked'

'Thanks for stating the obvious but I should be going'

'Stay for a bit there's some coffee in the burner if you want it'

'Another time Jeff I promise, I'd rather get the walk of shame out of the way'

'But we didn't sleep together though' he teased

'Shut up'

I grinned lightly and thought about the why he cared and looked after me last night that I didn't do anything more stupid like try to hit on him again. I said my goodbyes and kissed Jeffery on the cheek as I left the kitchen and entered the hallway, slipping on my shoes and left the house, the sun beamed down brightly even though it was still dawn. Avoiding eye contact and quiet sniggers as I passed people down the street on my way home to get the walk of shame done with, I located my keys from my pocket and let myself in; wondering to the living room and finding Dave perched on the edge of the sofa with his head in his hands

'Where have you been Tamzin? I practically stayed up the whole night waiting for you to return home from the pub'

'I'm sorry Dave'

'Don't hob me off with excuses I know you stayed out all night' he exclaimed

'Babe it's not what seems ok and how do know I stayed out all night' I questioned

'Come on then how was it? Who was the son of a bitch that slept with my fiancée? Eh I want a name now'

'What you saying Dave that you can't trust me at all and that I would just sleep around just like that. We're getting married in a few months'

'When you stay out most nights it's like I don't you at all half of the time and you know what it does give me doubts about us, about our relationship'

'What I'm not allowed to have a social life and spend time with mate from work and have a drink'

'I didn't say you couldn't have a social life. You know what I can't deal with this right now Tams, I'm done'

'What's happening now Dave talk to me?' I proclaimed

'I'm done I can't deal with us right now with all the arguing and fighting we shouldn't be like this, I think we should go on a break because I really need some time alone to think about us and what I want. I'll collect my belongings later'

Dave collected his briefcase from the coffee table and rose up from couch, looking at me for the last in god knows how long and left, hearing the front door slam shut behind him as he left. I rose furiously from the sofa and swiped off picture frames from the mantelpiece in frustration, kneeling down as I picked up a frame from the laminate floor and saw a picture of both of us when we were happiest together. I put all that anger and hurt there between me and Dave, fearing that I've lost him forever as I clung onto the picture and swept all morning that he'd a distance memory than my soon to be husband….


	2. Misguided futures Part 1

I walked into the ambulance station for my shift on duty and had no choice but to face an awkward first shift with Jeff after my drunken but exhilarating kiss with him a few days ago, I didn't know how I was going to make it out of this and how he would be after we kissed as we didn't talk properly about it the following morning. I'd been to nervous to talk to him afterwards Dave left or even drop Jeff a text about the whole ordeal, either way I knew today would be difficult to keep my emotions in check for what I feel for the two men in my life.

I got changed into my uniform and tied my hair up into a ponytail, making some coffee for the both of us before we started our shift together, walking out into the ambulance bay with two cups in my hand and Jeff sat down at the foot of the opened door of the ambulance

'Morning, get that down your neck'

'Morning Tams and what is it?'

'It's rat poison Jeffery' I snorted and rolling my eyes as I handed him the cup 'its coffee and freshly made and I know how you like it, black with three sugars'

'Nah I don't drink that rubbish anymore I prefer frappe or a latte or something, something sweet with a lot of sugar'

'So I've wasted my time making you a crappy cup of coffee for no reason'

'You're too gullible Tamzin and beside those drinks aint for me they're for yuppies, I'm happy with a simple black coffee any day of the week'

'You're an arse Jeff you know that' I groaned

I handed Jeffery his cup of coffee and the back of his fingers brushed the back of mine and sent a tingle down my back, only a touch from him could do that to me as I got grinned like a little school girl. He grinned and I slapped him on the arm playfully with my free hand, he guested me to sit down next to him with his beautiful blue eyes and I could have brushed it off and suggested we get back to work but I couldn't resist the urge as his ocean blue eyes reeling me in to sit next to him

'How are things with the love of your life?'

Telling Jeff a lie about where Dave and I stood would be the easy way out of an inquisition but the truth was going to come out sooner or later, he would pick up the ways I would be acting differently around him when the topic of Dave would come up, the man I would be marrying in a few months' time. 'I really don't where I am with Dave'

'What's happen now?'

'We got into an argument when I returned home as I stayed the night at ours'

'You did tell him nothing happened that night right? And that both of you are getting married in a few months'

'Yeah I did Jeff but he said he didn't trust me at all with me staying out a lot of nights'

'Well can you blame him for thinking like that when you're getting married soon?' he proclaimed

'Oh so you're on his side now when he has left me for god knows how long'

'He's left you Tams?' surprise shrilled his voice as he spoke

'Yeah and I don't know what to do Jeff, I could do with some advice for literally every problem right now between us and all the wedding preparations'

'First of all Tamzin just take a deep breath and trust me everything is going to be fine because you know why'

'Why Jeff please do tell'

'I've been stung once before Tamzin and take it from me with a lot of experience on marriage, you'll have ups and down along the way and there must some reason why you were attracted to him to even consider marriage proposal from Dave. Life is not always rosy once you get married it take a lot of patience, time and communication for it to work and don't get me wrong marriage is a fine institution if you're with the right person' he smiled and placed his hand on my knee, forcing my gaze to meet Jeff's

'Then why would Dave just call it a day like our relationship didn't mean a thing to him'

'Us men we're wired so differently to you girls when it comes to relationship and especially marriage, the way we act and think about things we don't let out emotions out and talk about it. We just hide it away from the ones we love to protect them, to protect ourselves from heart ache, you get where am I'm coming from Tams'

'Yeah I sort of do now Jeff for the way Dave acted earlier and why he did it, I should give our relationship another chance don't you think?'

'He'd mad to pass you up any man would be'

'Please' I needed him to be honest with me for a second and his voice broke

'Yeah he would you're clever, intelligent, funny and your beautiful but you're not beautiful as me' he smiled, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. 'It's just a small gift I was going to give to you as a wedding present but I couldn't wait that long'

'Thanks Jeff' I took the small parcel from his grasp and carefully torn open the paper and found a small jewellery box, I flipped the hatch up and pushed the lid open, finding a small silver necklace sat inside with a small T pendant. 'Jeff this, this is too much'

'It really isn't Tams and anyway I thought this would get me into your good books before you turn into bridezilla' Jeff joked

'You cheeky bitch' I grinned as I removed the necklace form the velvet box and laid it to rest against my hand. Admiring how beautiful it looked and the thought full gesture Jeff had done for my big day. 'Little help'

'Sure' Jeff nodded as his longer fingers brushed my hand to retrieve the necklace and my breath caught in my throat, smiling widely as I looked into those beautiful blue eyes and my heart skipped a beat. I needed to stop thinking about Jeff like this like I was in love with him or I was headed for serve heartache. Jeff lifted my necklace over my head and locked the hook together, in that moment I knew what Jeff meant to me and I needed to tell him how I really felt about him right now

'Jeff'

'Holby control to three zero zero six, report to the serious rta on the Holby flyover with two vehicle involved' Jeff's radio buzzed

'Three zero zero six to control we're on our way' he replied and winked at me, I needed to stop thinking about Jeff like this and get my mind in focus for the job in hand but I just couldn't because of him….


	3. Misguided futures Part 2

Jeff's P.O.V

My gruelling ten hour shift had ended with Tamzin and I was glad to get some breathing space from the girl as everything I said to reassure Tams about her wedding to Dave and their future together had seemed to be misinterpreted to something else to her like I was giving Tamzin a reason to have a major doubt of the big day, to express her feeling to someone else from the way she looked at me like she couldn't go through with the wedding, to put a big happy smile on for Dave's sake about their life together but leaves her heart for someone else to take….

I cleared my head of the thoughts of Tamzin as I walked up the driveway of my date tonight with Samantha at her home, well she said home but it was clearly a mansion and why would someone like her have an interest in someone like me. I rang the doorbell and stood back as the front door swung open with Samantha stood on the other side, giving her the flowers and bottle of wine as I stepped inside to her home, removing my jacket and hanging it up on the hook. She guided me into the lounge and broke open a bottle of red

'Well this is a turn up for the books I thought I'd never see you again let alone speak to you Jeffery'

'Something cropped up last time and that's all over and done with, I want to have another chance again with you Samantha if you'll let me' I informed her, taking hold of the wine glass and taking a sip

'Well hopefully it isn't a decision I won't regret'

We took another sip of the red wine and talked long into the night about each other's career and how we started off in life still where we are now; dinner had been ready half an hour later and we moved things into the dining room for our meal. I devoured the steak and seasoned vegetables Samantha had cooked but something else ached inside me and I couldn't put my finger on it on what it could be or how I felt about the small pain….

The evening with Samantha drew nearer to a close as I laid back into the sofa; she curled up on her side and laid her head to a rest on top of the sofa

'I can't believe you were stung once, hard to believe someone wouldn't have wanted you all to themselves' she grinned, eyeing from head to toe

'You know me I'm a complicated old man to things like these'

'I wouldn't go that far Jeffery, complicated is good'

'Blimey I thought this dating malarkey was going to be hard'

'Well I don't believe in wasting time when it comes to relationships'

'Relationships' I stuttered 'have you got a really awful surnames you've trying to get rid of since you were a kid'

She giggled lightly and lifted her head off the side of the sofa, closing the distance from our faces and leaned forward, Samantha lips softly touched mine once then twice. This kiss didn't feel the same as the one with Tamzin, completely and utterly different as I saw her I could only think about Tamzin. Why was I thinking about her while kissing Samantha? This could only end in heartbreak

'Wait what did you mean by complicated is good?' I questioned

'Relationships can get very complicated in time with someone over a long period'

'Relationships? We've just only met' I admitted, running my hand over the top of my short hair as I tried to picture the situation 'wait I told you about me and where I am with relationships so what are you not telling me Samantha? What are you hiding?'

'The truth hurts sometimes when secrets are revealed. What I've not told you about me was that, I am still a married woman'

'Oh good lord I knew things were too good to be true, single woman with a wealthy back ground things didn't add up from the start'

'It's not what you think Jeff'

'I don't want to think about it for a second longer Samantha, I get it you're a married woman and that but adultery is bad and I can't be dealing with all that with you and psycho of a husband of yours when he finds out eventually' I exclaimed, raising up from the sofa and looking down on her green eyes as she tilted her head back

'Are you not willing to give a chance on me or a potential relationship, it's all over with my husband' she lured, rising up from her seat and placing a hand on groin. Suggestively moving her hand up over my body and grazing my abs, working its way up my chest and rested on my cheek and Samantha pulled my head closer to her, holding our gaze but I couldn't look away from her luring emerald eyes. Samantha pushed me down on the sofa and straddled my lap, softly kissing me first then passionately as the heat turned up and my arousal hardened, pressing against her thigh

'We shouldn't be doing this' I whispered, fighting the urge deep inside me

'Just give in to what the heart wants'

What my heart wanted was what it couldn't have and that was Tamzin, my heart wanted her and only her but my arousal told another story, to be held, to be touch and adored by someone for the first time in years. It's wrong of me to hold such strong feelings for a woman I cared about the most but also felt guilt deep inside of me of having it on with Samantha as we were not together in the first place, but it felt like I was cheating on her and I don't know why, I couldn't get that though to leave. Throwing those emotions aside I leaned my head forward and connected our lips, rolling Samantha over on her back as I devoured her….


	4. Decisions to be made

I totally regretted my decision to sleep with Samantha last night, it was a stupid mistake to take because of what I wanted with Samantha instead of being with someone I wanted to be with, and the following morning it couldn't get any worse than being dropped off to work, outside of the entrance to the ambulance bay with all eyes on me as the car pulled up. This was going to get so embarrassing as I walked into work with everyone seeing what I pulled last night

'Give me a call or a text later if you want to meet up again, lover' Samantha suggested, capturing my mouth unexpectedly

'Sure I'll give you a call later after my shift' not on your life you'll hear from me again Samantha, I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and opened the car door quickly, collecting my bag out of the convertible's back seat. I walked through the bay with my head down sheepishly to the locker room to get changed into my uniform….

I made myself a coffee and walked over to Big Mac who was at the football table having a practise session for a game after our shift later; placing my coffee down on the window sill I join Big Mac at the table

'I see that your dirty one night stand drove you into work this morning Jeffery, care to explain anymore what else happened on your date' he teased

'The date went alright to be honest it wasn't that bad but…'

'But what'

I needed to tell him, needed to tell someone how I truly felt about Tamzin and how I kept on thinking about her during my whole date last night and every time I did my heart skipped a beat and I felt it, there I knew it I was in love with the girl. 'She's got a lot of baggage Mac if you know what I mean'

'In what way Jeff'

'Well take a guess Mac from what you already have seen from her. She has a husband Big Mac and just imagine, if Samantha kept that from me what else must she be hiding'

'You're in a right pickle there mate'

'I mean I aint got a clue in what to do'

'Well what is the old heart telling you to do; you should listen to that more than anything'

The old heart of mine was more than clearly telling me to tell my real feelings towards Tamzin and just get it out in the open, to risk it all for love while my head was telling me to think logically for once in my life. Could a relationship really work with Tamzin or would it end in disaster?

'Can I be real with you for a moment Big Mac?'

'Ask away Jeffery I'm all ears'

'Ok, so there's another girl on the scene but she doesn't know how I feel about her because I haven't let it slip that I do'

'How strong of these feelings are we talking about Jeff, like you know she's the one for you without a doubt or a quick fling to get it out of your system?'

'She's the real deal to me and someone I want to spend the rest of my life with'

'I'm not the best person to talk to about relationships mate but I know someone who is, I'll go and get her'

That's the last thing I needed is for Big Mac to go and fetch Tamzin for relationship advice on what to do with my feelings for this mysterious woman without them knowing it's her. They walked over to me as I stood waiting to come up with any excuses to say to divert the conversation

'Alright Jeff' she greeted me and kissed my cheek 'how did your date go last night'

'It went alright Tams I've had worse than her in my time'

'I hear that from Big Mac that you want some relationship advice'

'It's nothing really'

'Oh go on Jeff I need some early morning gossip'

'There's a girl I like I mean really like and I know this sounds childish but I don't know how to tell her as she got some things going on but she doesn't know I feel about her because I've never told her'

'Well I think it's really cute about the way you feel about this girl and I think you should tell how you really feel before it's too late' she smiled widely

Tamzin must clearly sense something between us and she's more than willingly wants me to admit my feelings for her and I want to so bad but I don't want to be thrown back in my face if she doesn't feel the same way about me.

'Tams'

'Yeah'

'I…'

The locker room door opened and my wife Dixie walked in, back from her three month suspension and if my love life could get any more difficult it got a whole lot more complicated with my lesbian wife back at work. I opened my arms and wrapped them around Dixie tightly as she held me close to her

'Good to have you back Dixie'

'It's good to see you again Jeffery I hope you've been taking care of yourself' she greeted me 'well this looks cosy, room for one more'

'Holby control to three zero zero six, persons reported at house fire on mill lane two ambulances required' my radio sounded

'Spoke to soon' she grinned 'this is ours Jeffery let's get moving'

'I thought I'd be with Tamzin, that's what it says on the rota Dixs' I stated

'Yeah well I thought I'd be with you on the first day back on all, you know catch up on the way there'

'It's fine Jeff I'll ride with Big Mac, you'd be down for that' Tamzin interjected

'With a pretty face like yours it would be an honour' he replied

I smiled at her weakly as we left the locker room to the ambulance bay; we climbed into the ambulances as I looked over my shoulder at her one more time. Our gaze met and I swear to god her smiled widen when she saw me…

It had been a drama packed shift and glad that it was finally it over, I was exhausted, not from the job but with Tamzin and Dixie and where my love life was heading, I needed to make a decision now where I was going in life, if not now than when?. I knocked on the door to Dixie's officer and entered, seating down on the sofa

'You alright Jeff what can I do for yea'

'I want to talk to you about something private Dixs'

'Yeah sure what's it about mate'

'About us Dixie and where we're heading, what I'm trying to say is… I want a divorce'

'Ok mate but can I ask why, I understand why from a sexually orientated point of view Jeff but I thought we were good. A team even'

'It's not you Dixie it's me and I want to move on with my life, being with someone properly you know and maybe start a family'

'Alright Jeff I respect your wishes and what you want. You can have a divorce and I just hope whoever she is understands that she's a really lucky lady'

Dixie got up from her chair and walked around her desk; I embraced her quickly and held her close to me as we were saying goodbye to so many happy years of marriage, maybe not on the intimate bases as some couples but to a mutual and friendship relationship.


	5. How can something so wrong feel so right

My date with my fiancé Dave didn't go as well as planned tonight as it was a complete disaster from start to finish, this was supposed to be another chance at things and clear the air between us before the big day soon. I pulled my phone out of my purse and unlocked the screen to find a text message from Jeff

'_Good luck on your date tonight Tams, hope things work out. Jeff xxx'_

I didn't care what time of night it was but seeing that text from Jeff I knew I really needed to talk to him and hopefully he'll be all ears for me even it was really late. I walked to his house and dialled his number, picking up on the third ring

'Hello Tams, what you doing phoning me at this hour' his sleepy voice growled

'Sorry Jeff for waking you but I really need to talk to you'

'Couldn't it wait till morning at the station?'

'No it couldn't and can you let me in, I didn't want to ring the doorbell and wake Dixie' I stated

'Sure I'll be with you in a sec' he agreed

I ended the call and slipped my phone back into my purse as turned towards the door and it quietly creped open, making my way inside I closed the door and followed Jeff into the lounge, for the second time in a few months Jeff was dealing with my problems in the early hours of morning again. This time I needed to tell him how I feel, no backing out at the last moment.

'What did you want to talk about Tams?' he whispered, rubbing his eyes out of sleep

'I just needed someone to talk too and I saw your text message from earlier so I thought….it doesn't matter what I thought'

'Go on, what did you thought'

I wanted to tell him that I loved him but the words got stuck on the tip of my tongue and I couldn't force myself to speak them 'that you could help me and give me some advice again'

'Advice, on what this time darling'

'About the whole Dave thing and that I'm falling for the right person'

'What happened on your date tonight sweetheart?'

'What didn't happen more like?' I stated, and that was the truth. The date had been a disaster from start to finish with our table reserved given away and confrontation with one of the waiters nearly ending up in a fist fight, a table leg broke with everything on the top of our table gave way and spread across the floor. If things couldn't get any worse at this point it did with the bill that needed to be paid and a disagreement who was paying and I ended up with bill after heated argument, when we tried to talk outside the restaurant it just didn't feel right for some reason. The night was a complete catastrophe….

'So that's basically what happened tonight' I finished, sighing heavily

'Sounds awful that you had to go through all that'

'More like cringe worthy, I saw second-hand embarrassment on people's faces'

'You know what I think, I think you're way I mean way too good for him and he doesn't deserve you at all Tams not one bit'

'Then who does deserve me then Jeff? Because I can't seem to find him'

Jeff drew in a deep breath and eyed me from top to bottom, our eyes becoming fixed on each other 'Someone like me'

'Someone like you Jeff' I smiled

'A man that adores you and treats you like his queen all the time, not when it only suits him'

My smile grew as I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his cheek; Jeff's lips twitched as he chased mine down and softly kissed my lips. Cheeks flushing to a deep pink as I placed my hand on his t-shirt cover chest

'You just kissed me' I smiled, surprised as my cheek turned to deep pink

'Yeah I just did. Ten out of ten for observation tho' he laughed 'Do you want this'

I nodded, closing the distance between us and circled my arms around Jeff's neck, drawing his lips nearer to mine and then he kissed me again. The kiss was cute and innocence then turned into downright sexy and passionate, Jeff's lips coaxing my mouth open and slid his tongue in as our tongues slipped over each other's, I pushed him back against the sofa and climbed above Jeff in his lap and straddled him. I smiled against his lips, his arms moved up and down my side and then wrapped around my waist, picking me up with my legs wrapped around his waist as instinct took over.

'We'll have to be a bit quiet; Dixie's room is only down the hall from my room'

I kissed the tip of his nose as he started moving up the staircase and I clung onto him tightly, it was a miracle we didn't fall and break our neck which would be so embarrassing. We entered his room and kicked the door closed behind us and I was lowered onto the bed as he moved on top of me, his hand grazed the inside of my thigh and travel upwards to where I wanted him for a while, my hands moved to his t-shirt and discarded of his taut body while my hands moved up his bare chest, cupping his cheeks and bringing his head closer to mine but he pulled away. Jeff's soft fingers found the zip on the back of my dress and pulled down on the chain, easing my arms out of the sleeves and pulled my blue dress on my body and left me in my underwear

'God you're beautiful Tamzin, look at that blush'

My cheeks turned more pink than normal when he said that but I bite the inside of my cheek to hide my enormous grin. Jeff kissed the space between my breasts and slowly nipped and sucked on the top of my bra of where my nipple would be, my back arching so he could unhook her bra and moved the material away, lips licked my skin of my breast as his other hand cupped me and played my nipple between his fingers and switching back and forth every few minutes. His hands trailed up my legs, holding my waist as his lips kissed my stomach and moved downwards, playing with the top of my panties. I moaned softly as he pulled them away from my skin and continued peppering kisses across my stomach and his hands moved them all the way down my legs and I kicked them off my ankles, his lips meeting where I wanted him the most right now. My hands entwined in his short hair as he kissed, licked and sucked, pulling gently as my orgasm approached. I dug the balls of my feet into his shoulder blades as it washed over me and my body trembling as I was totally gone.

'You okay Tams' he laid beside

'That was perfect' my voice hoarse, breathing heavily 'You were perfect'

I straddled him and slid down his body as my fingers curled around the top of his sleeping shorts and discarded them from his body and threw them behind me, my hand taking hold of him and his body jerked as my fingers wrapped around him and stroke up and down a slow and gently pace, I lowered my head and took him in my mouth, Jeff groaned as my hand moved against him in a strong and steady rhythm. He didn't last long as I knew Jeff enjoyed every minute of it, release powered through him as his hips jerked, screaming my name and tried to move away a bit but I latched onto him. What felt like forever I moved away and laid next to him

'Tams….' he began

'You liked?'

'I loved' he smiled widely

I giggled as he turned and lay against his side, Jeff leaned over and dropped a near out of breath kiss to my forehead, and his breathing was still ragged. Jeff captured my mouth again and I pushed him against the sheet and straddled his lap, reaching for him behind me and stroking him up and down, guiding Jeff where I had wanted him and the tip of his erection slid through and then into my wetness, causing my muscles to tense, the feeling was overwhelming. I rode him as my fingers dug deep into his chest and his hands landed on my hips, holding me in place, a smile on Jeff's face as he pressed his lips against mine once again, his tongue fighting for dominance against mine. The pleasure was too much to take as he rolled over as my back pressed against the sheet and he placed his head into the burrow of my neck, within no time at all I could feel my second orgasm approaching and I continued to lift my hips, wanting Jeff to come first which he did, his body falling limply onto mine, thrusting slowly as his body recovered and my orgasm hit, my fingernails digging into his back as he held me there and then rolled out me, pulling me into his arms as we lay there together…..


	6. Who do you want?

After my wonderful but unforgettable night of lust with Jeff, I eased myself out of his warm embrace and gathered up by cloths from the foot of the bed, silently getting dressed as Jeff turned onto the bed and searched for my body in his sleepy daze, I grabbed a pillow and slid it under his arm as he settled down and I exited his room, leaving the house quietly without waking any of them up….

As I let the steaming hot water from the shower pour over me as I stood there, my thoughts were really miles away from what I was actually doing. How could have I let this happen? I shouldn't have sleep with him last night but that's what I had wanted at the time and what does he think of me now? I'm that easy, the village bike that everyone has had a go on. Did last night mean anything to him other than just sex because it mean a whole lot to me, if Jeff felt something last night about us he would tell me wouldn't he?

I decided to not think about my dilemma anymore and the guilt building up inside of me for what I have done and where I stood with Dave. Wrapping the soft cotton towel around my body I stepped out of the on suite bathroom to find Dave sat back on the bed, completely catching me off guard to why he was here

'What are you doing here Dave?' I asked

'Well I do still live here remember or have you completely forgotten'

'Yeah I know that but aint you supposed to be at work right now'

'After last night with our date I took the day off, I do own the place or have you forgotten that as well'

'Well Dave what do you want I aint got time for a full on discussion I'm going to be late for work'

'I'll make it short and simple for you sweetheart' he sighed, coming to the end of the bed and placing his hands on his knees. 'I was a complete idiot the other night and that's completely unforgiveable the way that I'd acted but I was hoping we could get pasted all that and move on, I want to try again with you properly if that's what you want as well and do you forgive me'

Part of my mind told me to forget him and just move on with my life but the words were already slipping off my tongue before I even knew what I said and I couldn't stop them in time, coming out of pure guilt to what I had done last night. 'Yes Dave I'll forgive you'

'I promise you Tams I'll make it up to you someday somehow in our future together after we are happily married' he declared, climbing off the bed and cupped my cheeks, pressing his lips against mine 'You won't regret this decision I promise you. The wedding is back on'

Truth was, I was already regretting that decision now and blamed my stupid big mouth for blurting out a quick decision before really thinking about it. Dave's hands slid down my arm to my hands and joined them together, lifting my gaze to his

'Just one question Tams where did you stay out too last night?' Dave questioned

My cheeks burned red as I was still slow on the uptake with the entire inquisition, my brain kept on thinking to all the things I had done with Jeff last night in his bed. Needed to clear that though right now before that came blurting right out in the open as well

'I stayed at a friend's house last night, we started talking and it got late so I slept there' such a total lie, knowing anything will do for an excuse

'Oh right, fair enough I'll leave you to it. You don't want to be late to work'

I could sense from his body vibe and how sharply Dave exited from the bedroom that he knew I was lying to where I was last night and especially who I was with, he hadn't have believed a single word that came from my mouth for one single moment…..

My shift had just ended with my colleagues as I had suggested we go to the pub for a drink, Big Mac and Dixie had made a head start while I waited for Jeff to appear from the locker room

'You ready Tams' he proclaimed

'I've been waiting for your lazy ass for oven ten minutes, the others are probably wondering where we are'

'Let them wait time waits for no man' Jeff grinned

'You're so bad Jeff its going pass the unacceptable level'

'Oh yeah, that's why you like me so much' he winked, blowing me a kiss

My mouth fell open as I didn't know how to respond to that but I went with a lame response. 'Yeah well let's just forget how arrogant you can be and get going'

'You love my arrogance Tams' he signed 'Is everything ok with you Tamzin, you seem a little off today after you know last night. You can tell me anything sweetheart'

The moment those words left his lips he had me at sweetheart 'Can we go somewhere private to talk Jeff'

'Sure let's go for a walk'

We left the ambulance bay and headed down the quiet road, passing a couple of streets blocks to a quiet park not so far away, Jeff had texted Dixie about the delay in plans that we'd be there a while later. We found an empty bench at the top of the park overlooking the grassy green land; Jeff sprawled back against the bench with his arm laid on top of the bench

'What did you want to talk about Tamzin?'

'I can't do us Jeff'

'Can't do what'

'Us, this. I can't be in a relationship with you and last night was a bloody big mistake and shouldn't have happened at all' I snapped

'You wanted it last night as much as I did and you didn't seem to regret it at all till now so what's changed'

'I don't want to choose between you both but I've made up my mind this morning and I've chosen Dave, sorry Jeff but it's too late'

'I don't believe that for one second at all and you know what, I think you're miserable with Dave and not the same person when you're with him than when you're with me'

'You don't know anything about him' I growled, looking away from him and averted my gaze to the grassy floor

Jeff had definitely touched a nerve with that comment but as I tried to wave it off it still stung. I felt his presence shift closer to me and decrease the distance between us, he placed two fingers under my chin and force me to face him, the warmth of his palm slid up and cupped my cheek, Jeff held my gaze and swooped down and claimed my lips. Capturing my mouth as I pressed my lips against his, feeling my cheeks flush red slightly as I pulled away and grinned

'But I do know that I want you' he admitted

A smile broke across my face and I wrapped my arms around Jeff's neck and draw myself closer to his warm body, he grinned slightly as I leaned my forehead against his and then kissed Jeff's cheek, along his jaw and lastly his lips. It was too much for me to take as I climbed into his lap and deepened the kiss, allowing his lips to do wonders to my body as it trembled from just kisses, god I was weak when it came to Jeff. Had been for a while and with every last second left till my big day I wanted to spend it with Jeff and no one else, it finally clicked in my head, maybe we should spend every minute together till the big day by starting an emotional affair. I kissed his soft warm lips again and heard a car skid away near the other side of the park and tried to focused my gaze on the vehicle; it got away before I could get a proper good look at it….


	7. Secrets

I woke up early with a passed out Dave next to me in bed, oh god he still smelled of booze from last night at the pub from a drinking session with his mates and came home in the early hours of the morning, shifting away from him to get some fresh air I grabbed my phone from the side table. Seeing a text message from Jeff, I grinned like an idiot as I opened the text

_Morning babe, fancy getting a coffee before work x_

My smiled grew widely as I sat up in bed and brought my knees up to my chest, the tips of my fingers pressing on the buttons quickly back. _Sure, love too Jeff. Come on and pick me up in ten x_

Pushing the sheets away from my warm body I crept quietly around the room and gathered up things into my work bag, I zipped up my skinny jeans and pulled on my red blouse. Grabbing my work bag from the bed I left the room and headed outside to wait for Jeff, climbing into his silver Ford Focus.

'Morning handsome' I greeted him

'Morning gorgeous you look great this morning'

'Thanks' I replied. 'Come here Jeff I've missed you'

He leaned over from the driving seat and I softly connected our lips together, pulling away with a smile on both of our faces and then I saw his lightning blue eyes, I was lost in them. Jeff pulled away from the curb and drove to the nearest coffee shop to get our morning dose of caffeine, we'd chatted in his car for about half an hour before driving off to the station, Jeff pulled up in a side street before the ambulance station

'Why have we stop here Jeff the station is another block forward, you can't miss it'

'I know Tams but I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression about us'

'You're scared aint you what people might think' I teased

'Yeah a little scared' he laughed quietly

'Well I'm scared too but it doesn't mean I deserve to be dropped off here'

'Sorry sweetheart but you'll have to walk the rest of the way'

'Ever the gentlemen then Jeff'

'More like the average male'

'I'll see you inside Jeff'

I leaned over the passenger seat and softly kissed Jeff's lips, his smile grew as I exited the car and collected my bag from the back, and Jeff drove around the block as I turned the other way in the opposite direction. Meeting up outside the door to the ambulance bay and walking inside together to the locker room, stealing glances of each other as we got changed into the uniform, the way Jeff looked at me made my breath caught in my throat as it was like being touched but all from a look, only he could make me do that….

After going through a routine checks and stock supply on the ambulances before shift we waited in the common room, waiting for the next shout to come through over the radio. Dixie walked through from her office with quite a few letters in her hand

'Look lively I've got some fan mail for some of you' she announced

Dixie handed out a couple of fan letters to the crews on duty in the common room and some in the ambulance bay, I got handed one last and opened the seal of the letter and pulled out a folded A4 page

_Dear Tamzin_

_I know you're a lying cheating whore and I've seen what you have done a few times, how can you live with yourself with having two separate lives with two separate me at the same time is beyond me. It only a matter of time before this gets blurted out, it won't be a white wedding will it?_

_Anonymous_

I reread the letter again and placed it back into the envelope, not wanting to ever cast my eyes on it to only hurt my feelings again and I placed it into my jacket pocket.

'Get anything good Tams'

'Yeah a cute letter from a little boy I helped last week, it's so cute' such a lie

'Let's have a little look see'

'Nah it's alright'

'Oh go on Tamzin'

'I'll show you later Jeff' I replied, trying to keep a straight face to not raise any suspicions. I knew if Jeff found out about the letter he would try to track down who was sending them in the first place and most importantly ask why. I didn't need any of this in my life…..

I taken my eyes of the ball on a few shouts in the day which could of ended disastrously if it wasn't for Jeff or Dixie picking up on my errors in the back of the ambulance or on the scene of an incident, giving the patient the wrong meds and too much or too little of the dosage. My emotions got the better of me during the whole day and started taking its toll as my mind kept rereading the letter.

Jeff drove us back to the ambulance station and parked into the bay, locking the doors on the vehicle so there was no chance to escape a serious talk with him; Jeff unclipped his seatbelt and turned towards me

'What's going on with you Tamzin, you aint been yourself today since you got that letter'

'Can we just drop it Jeff' I unclipped my seatbelt and faced him

'No I can't just drop it; you've taken your eyes of the ball today a few times and I can't ignore that. Your actions could have been server to patients'

'You don't think I don't know that but I do. I've made mistakes and I'm sorry about that Jeff'

'Then tell me what's wrong'

'I can't Jeff'

'Why?'

'Because I can't you'll just freak out if you knew'

'If you love and trust me at all Tamzin then you'll tell me'

Taking a deep breath I looked into Jeff's azure eyes and trusted him with the truth from the letter, I reached into my green jacket pocket and retrieved the letter. 'This is the reason why I've not been myself today and so shaken up by it'

I handed the letter to Jeff and he read the whole thing not once but twice to make sure he was reading the right thing, the way his facial expression dropped made my heart sink even further, god only knows what he was thinking right now

'God this is so terrible Tams and you were going to hide this from me'

'What was I meant to say to you Jeff? I got some horrible letter today and I may think it's about us because someone knows something'

'Yeah that and we could have got something done about it like contacting the police'

'Really Jeff what were the police going to do about it, it says on the letter it's from _Anonymous' _I sighed heavily

'This is the only letter you've got like this Tamzin, from the same person'

'Yeah that's the first one I got from that guy'

'You have to let me know if you get another one like this from _Anonymous_ again' Jeff proclaimed 'For all we know it could be some prank or some windup merchant playing a sick joke'

'Probably is some windup merchant that's getting a kick from seeing me like this' I exclaimed 'Thanks Jeff for listening I really don't think I could have confident with Dave about the letter'

'It's alright Tams it is what I'm here for. To pick you up when we fall down princess'

I was lost for words on how truly amazing Jeff was with my problems, I didn't have to face them alone now but only together with Jeff by my side. Now was the right time to tell him that I loved him but I don't think he'd want to hear it with my eyes puffy with happy tears, I embraced him and he held me close to him and weaved his hand into my blonde hair…...

Dave's P.O.V

I'd seen the whole conversation between them as I watched helplessly from the car I hired to do my surveillance on them both and especially Tamzin. My blood boiled angry red as she was all over him in that sodding ambulance; seeking attention from my love rival when the letter she received earlier today I thought it would bring us closer together than push her into his loving and caring arms. I reached for my briefcase and pulled out another A4 and started writing on the sheet

_Dear Tamzin_

_Will it be a white wedding Tamzin? Still playing the cheating whore I see with that umpa lumpa friend of yours at the station, I see you all the time and I know what you've gotten up too but you never see me, I'm your hidden shadow I go wherever you go. I'm not deaf; dump or blind but I do know that you should stay away from the umpa lumpa before your world comes crashing down before your own very eyes….. _

_Anonymous _


	8. Untold truths

Big Mac's P.O.V

I'd been stuck cleaning the back of the ambulances with Jeff and Tamzin after a quite messy shout to an engineering factory with two men getting their arms caught in some cutting machinery, wasn't a very pretty sight believe me. Come to think of it Jeff and Tamzin had been gone awhile to get some extra stock for the ambulances and that was twenty minutes ago, surely they couldn't of got lost to the store room and back, better send out a search party

'Hiya mate, can I get some help over here please its urgent' a voice cried

I turned behind me and saw a very smartly dressed gentleman enter the ambulance bay, the fellow's right hand gasping his left arm tightly as blood trickled down his hand. Great, just what I need after my last shout, more blood everywhere

'Hello there pal how can I help you'

'I'm bleed heavily from my arm mate can you help me out'

'Oh right oh, I'm Big Mac and your name please sir?'

'Dave Pattinson'

'Dave Pattinson, you aint Tamzin's fella are you because she's engaged to someone called Dave?' I enquired

'Yeah I am Big Mac, do you know where she is by the way I thought she could sort this out' he sighed, looking over my shoulders

'She's here somewhere mate but I couldn't say where to be honest' I informed him 'but you're arm needs see too right away and I guess you're stuck with me instead. Be right back'

I sat Dave down on the end of the ambulance and got some pads from one of the storage compartments for his bleeding arm; hurrying across the busy bay I didn't see Tamzin or Jeff in the locker room anywhere so I rushed quickly into Dixie's office

'You alright Big Mac, is everything ok' her soft voice asked

'You haven't seen Tamzin anywhere have you Dixie? Only her fiancé is here with a deep cut in his arm and asking for her but I can't seem to find her anywhere'

'No I haven't Mac but it's nothing we can sort out and I'm sure she'll pop up at some point, she always does'

'Well you better come quick Dixs the cut looks really bad'

Dixie rose from her chair and followed me back to the ambulance where Dave was still sat, she jumped right into the back of the ambulance and grabbed the green medical pack, zipping the bag open and handing me some gloves as we put them on, she stood beside me and looked closely at Dave's arm

'Hiya sunshine I'm Dixie and we will get your arm patched up again and it will be fine just in time for the big day'

'Thanks Dixie, you aint seen Tamzin on your travels'

'Can't say that I have but she will pop up soon' she replied. 'Big Mac can I get five milligrams of morphine and a litre of saline please'

'Bad news Dixs we aint got any left in both of the ambulances, Jeff and Tamzin were supposed to do a stock check and fill them up but they've disappeared'

'Bloody hell Mac, I'll take Dave into the common room and can you get what we need from the store cupboard'

'No problem, would you like to follow us Dave to somewhere much warm and you'll get that arm seen to'

We helped Dave to his feet and carried the bag back with us to the common room, we cross the bay and I veered off to the store cupboard, the light was switched on in the room as it glowed from underneath the door. I grabbed the handle and quietly opened the door to see Tamzin up against the wall and Jeff stood between her legs and holding her up, completely oblivious to me standing there as they snogged each other's faces off, I felt the presence of Dixie and Dave behind me as they looked over my shoulder at the couple, shock and horror smashed their faces as they finally realised we were watching them in disbelief

'Told you she'd pop up at some point Dave' Dixie pointed out, squeezing his shoulders and leading him to the common room for treatment

Jeff's P.O.V

The moment we both got clocked together in the store cupboard was defiantly the most embarrassing and humiliating thing of my life to date and I'd hate to know how Tamzin was feeling when being caught at work by your fiancé and work mates. To make matters worse I hated the way Dave sneakily winked at me before being lead into the common room, Dave had to have set this up at the right time to pounce at the station and cut himself, something funny shook me as no doubt in my mind he had been the person to have sent the letter as _Anonymous to Tamzin. _

After Dave was patched up by Dixie and Big Mac and sent to Holby hospital by another paramedic crew we both got called into Dixie's office for a word, this was defiantly not going to go down well for either me or Tamzin, fearing the worst that we both could get fired from the service if not suspended from duty. We waited anxiously for Dixie to say something; anything but the longer we waited the worst it was going to get

'Well where do I begin Jeff, Tams because I don't know what to say right now as I am just as stunned as Dave'

'The little bastard has set all this up on us Dixs' I snapped

'He hasn't done anything wrong Jeff; you two are in the wrong and face it you were both caught out by us'

'There's something there that I can't prove but I'm sure as hell certain Dave is the one who has been sending perilous letters to Tamzin in the first place to get back at us for starting a relationship'

'Is that true Tamzin?' she questioned

'Well yes and no Dixie, I can't be sure that it was Dave who sent the letters in the first place as it was signed as_ Anonymous_ and I don't think he knew about us beforehand when things didn't get serious at first' Tamzin replied

'You should have told me straight away when you started getting hate mail like that, first one I understand if you didn't want to share but you should of said something to me in private about the second letter Tamzin'

'Telling you was never going to change anything in the first place Dixs and we both know it'

'Don't have a go at her Dixie, she confided in me about the letters straight away and if anything, this is all my fault you know, the relationship on and off duty' I interjected

'Yeah you're right Jeffery this is your fault but you're not the only one to blame here, it's the both of you for having this kind of relationship on duty. The moment you knew the working relationship changed you should have come to me to change partners' Dixie shouted

'Hold on a minute this is not entirely fair for you to take all the blame Jeff and for you Dixie to pin it all on him, yes things got out of hand but there's no one hurt from it' Tamzin proclaimed

'One person springs to mind Tamzin. Your fiancé Dave' she sighed heavily

'He's most likely hurt from what he has seen but I'll talk to him when I get home about everything and how it was just a fling before the wedding'

'That's not the point Tams. You can't have a relationship with someone your on duty with, you're putting yourself and if not others at risk and you both have broken the rule book under relationships and work act section but the last thing I want to do is give you the server punishment by dismissing you both from duty and Holby doesn't need that with two of its finest paramedics laid off from work. There are not enough people to cover the shift work at the station'

'Well what are you going to do then Dixie? Fire us or suspended from duty' I questioned

'You leave me with no choice on the matter but to fire you both from Holby'

'You can't do this Dixie, you said there's not enough people to cover shifts here so why not fire me and suspend Tamzin instead'

'I can't'

'You can or you won't and you will because you know why? We had a relationship together for number of years on and off duty and it never got in the way between us so can you rethink your decision' I demanded

'Fine Jeff you're both are reinstated on duty but I want you on separate shifts together for a while with new partners and there's no easy way of saying this but Jeff I want you to take full pay suspended leave for a month to clear your head then come back to work'

'Fine Dixs I'll see you at home' I puffed angrily

I rose up from my chair and left Dixie's office as quickly as I could to get some fresh air, walking into the locker room I opened my locker door furiously, thudding against another locker door and retracting back. I scooped up my belonging from my locker and shoved it into my bag, slamming the door shut I left the station, glancing back at the officer and heading to my car….

Tamzin's P.O.V

We watched Jeff leave the bay from the office and head over to his car, driving quickly away from the station on his suspended leave from all of us, to get away from me for our stupid heat of the moment romance in the store cupboard, uhh really sexy place to be getting it on. Dixie turned towards me in her chair; clearly she wasn't finished with her interrogation

'Is everything ok Tamzin you've been a little quiet back there'

My breath caught in my throat and the pressure in my chest grew, flight or fight kicked in and I needed to tell the truth to Dixie about something so secret and private and if not her who else could I tell?

'I'm pregnant Dixs'

Dixie's face dropped as she tried to get her head around the whole thing, Dixie's emerald eyes met mine. 'You're what?'

'I'm having a baby, I've done the test twice in the last few days to be sure and it's positive'

'And the baby's father is Dave?'

The easiest thing would be to lie and say yes but I couldn't, the words formed on my tongue but my mouth said something completely different. 'No Dixie it's Jeff's baby, he's the father'

'Flipping heck Tams' she exclaimed 'What are you going to do about the baby'

'I literally have no idea what to do next whether I should keep it or not or tell Jeff that he's going to be a father again'

Dixie rose up from her chair and walked around the desk and stopped by my side, I laid the side of my body to rest against her as she wrapped her arms around me, soothing me as I had decisions that needed to be made….

After my shift had ended late in the summer warm evening I gotten a lift back with Dixs to the home she'd shared with Jeff, she opened the front door and let us in into the house, we dropped our bags into the hallway

'Jeffery where are you you've got a visitor' she called

'I'm in here princess' he shouted from the living room, we entered the room to see him with a beer bottle in hand and dully watching the tv in utter boredom with Little Abs beside him for companionship

'Hello stranger' I greeted him

'Tamzin what are you doing here?'

'I need to talk to you in private about something'

'Don't mind me say what needs to said between the both of you, I'm taking Little Abs for a walk' she informed us, putting a lead on his collar and left the house

'Now, what were you going to tell me Tams?'

'There's no easy way of saying this but I'm going to be honest with you Jeff. I'm pregnant and…you're the father'

'You're having my child, our child Tamzin' excited and joy etched onto his face

'Yes our child but there are some complications'

'What complications'

'I've already told Dave that it's his baby to not raise any suspicion about us that there could be a chance that it isn't his. I just wanted you to know the truth Jeff but I'll always cherish our baby and our secret romance forever'

Jeff's mouth opened for a second then closed quickly, leaning up from the sofa he placed his palm against my cheek and drew my head closer to his, softly kissing my lips for what surely is the last time….


	9. Wedding bells

_Sadly this is going to be the last chapter in the story and I hope you love the conclusion to the love story between Jeff & Tamzin._ _I want to thank each and every one of my readers for their undying support and it has truly been fun writing this story, hope you've enjoyed every second as much as I have._

Jeff's P.O.V

The day of Tamzin and Dave's wedding arrived and I had been dreading this day for a while now as I harboured strong feelings for Tamzin for so long and acted on them so late, maybe it could have been a different story if I done something earlier. Either way I couldn't bring myself to go to their wedding and see the woman I love slip away forever

Dixie had tried every trick in the book she knew to get me ready and actually be happy for them but nothing worked as I kept telling myself no to going and she left half an hour after eventually giving up. Things had quietened around the house but not for long, rising from my sofa I answered the front door to see Big Mac standing there

'Alright Big Mac what can I do for you?'

'Morning Jeffery… why aint you changed yet for the wedding. You're going to be late if you don't hurry'

'Because I'm not going that's way Mac'

'Oh Jeffery, can I talk to yea'

'Sure mate come on in'

Stepping aside I let Mac through to the lounge, I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed two cans of lager from the fridge and headed towards the lounge, handing a can over to Mac

'Ah cheers for the can' he proclaimed, opening the can and taking a swig while he sat down on the recliner

'It's no problem' I replied and also opened my can. 'What did you want Mac?'

'I've come to say I'm sorry mate for getting you caught in the store cupboard with Tamzin'

'It's alright big fella; our relationship was doomed from the beginning it was never going to work'

'But the stuff you were saying in the locker room a few weeks back about some girl I didn't realise it was Tamzin mate, I had no idea'

'My feelings for her back then was so real and raw'

'So why aint you going to the wedding if it was back then the way you felt'

'Because it wouldn't be fair on either of them if I showed up and brought up memories for Dave of what me and Tamzin had been up too and also for the poor girl to throw a wobble during the ceremony because I was there'

'You owe it to her to be there that you care for her happiness a little bit and I'm just going to say it Jeff. You're still in love with her while you sit here and drink yourself into denial that you aint'

'I don't love her Big Mac' I shouted

'Then why did you take the bullet for her when Dixie was going to give you both the sack. If you didn't love her you wouldn't have saved her skin and not your own' he exclaimed

'I care for her Mac and Tamzin's future in the trust because she's made a few mistakes in the past but this is what she's good at, being a paramedic'

'Just admit it to yourself before it's too late Jeff'

'Okay Mac I love her. I love Tamzin'

'Finally you admit that you really love her and now go and tell her how you feel'

'I can't just waltz up to her wedding and declare how I feel in front of everyone about her it'd be too awkward if she says no'

'Carpe diem Jeff, seize the day before you lose her forever. Could you live with yourself not knowing what could have been the outcome if you grew some balls and told her how you felt'

I needed to grow some balls right now and tell her before it too late. 'Let's do it, let's crash the wedding'

I rose up from the sofa and downed the rest of the can, grabbing my jacket and keys we raced out of the house and to my parked car down the street, hurrying into the first gear and pulling away sharply down the street to the wedding venue….

Tamzin's P.O.V

The wedding ceremony had been running smoothly as it can be on Dave's part but mine had turned into a complete shambles as I looked at him all I saw was Jeff's face, I cleared my head of that though and tried to focus on what happening around me. As we turned to face each during our vows the corner of my eyes searched the room for Jeff to stand and call the wedding off but he was nowhere to be seen. This was it the moment of truth had arrived where I say I do in front of everyone.

'Tamzin' Dave asked

'Huh' my brain snapped into engage mode and realised all eyes were on me to say yes, clearing my throat I locked my eyes with Dave's. 'I…'

'I object. Stop the wedding' Jeff interjected

Jeff's P.O.V

The double doors Big Mac and I burst through had slammed shut when the room fell silent, guests in their seats turned to see what the commotion was from behind, I stood at the bottom of the aisle and slowly creped forwards to the alter. Seeing Tamzin in her beautiful wedding dress took my breath away as she turned her head and smiled widely as our eyes met.

'Tamzin there's something I need to tell you'

'Oh what are you doing Jeff' Dixie proclaimed

'I need to do this Dixs' I sighed heavily. 'I need to declare something. Don't marry him Tamzin because I… I love you'

'You loved me'

'I love you Tamzin'

'Well, this is going to get awkward any minute now' Big Mac interjected

'Can we go somewhere to talk Tamzin?'

'Yeah sure Jeff, we can pop out to another room or to the gardens'

'Another room will be great'

Tamzin grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me down the aisle and I followed willingly as guest started talking in groups to each other, giving us the bitch and scary murderous looks as we both left the reception hall and entered a side room

'What did you want to talk about Jeff?'

'I needed to tell you and let you know that I love you and how I feel about you. The feelings I have for you is so strong that I can't imagine a life without you, the only reason I didn't tell you how I felt was the fear of rejection and with the possibility of no friendship at all but mainly that you were engaged as well' I admitted

'I felt exactly the same way about you Jeff for a long long time but I was scared to act of those feelings just in case you didn't feel the same way about me and I didn't want to slaughter our friendship because I loved you in a deeper way'

'So where do we go from here?' I enquired, rising a brow

'I want to be with you Jeff for ever and ever till the end of time'

'I want that too Tams' I smiled, placing my palm on her cheek and drew our heads closer together, my mouth brushed over her soft lips and slid my tongue in, deepening the kiss and breaking apart after a knock on the door

'Hey what's going on in there?' Dave's voice boomed

'Just one second'

Less than a second later the door handle spun around and Dave pushed opened the door, standing in the middle of the door frame; my right hand found Tamzin's and kept hold as Dave's brown eyes landed on our joined hands

'I think we need a chat don't you' he greeted us

'More than hell we do'

I kissed Tamzin on the cheek and gestured her out of the small side room, she didn't look back but her hand pulled on the door handle to give us some private time alone to talk and sort this whole mess out

'Looks like the better man won in the end then' he stated, offering his hand

'I don't get it Dave, I thought you'd be here to knock my block off for crashing your wedding and pinching your bird'

'When it comes to you for Tamzin's heart I can't compete Jeff. I've learned that if someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy, it doesn't matter how much you love them, you need to let them go. So that's what I'm doing'

'Come here mate' I suggested, wrapping my arms around him loosely and patted him on the back. 'You've done the right thing in letting her go and I wish you all the best pal in finding the one'

'Cheers pal it means a lot' he broke off, heading towards the door 'Best if I call off the wedding'

Dave opened the door and locked over his shoulder and our gaze met, he winked and smiled weakly as he left the room slowly to the reception room, Tamzin rushed into the room right after he left and embraced me

_One month later…_

Things felt so weird at the beginning but yet so normal after a month of properly being together in an open relationship, Tamzin had moved in the house straight away with me, Dixie and Little Abs but the house was starting to get over crowded and less private but that didn't stop us from having some alone time. Our relationship when to whole new level and I wanted to show Tamzin how much she meant to me and I wasn't the rebound guy.

'You ready?' Tamzin asked from the living room

'Yeah love just give me a minute' I shouted

Seeing Tamzin standing in the living room just made me realise even more how lucky I was to have her in my life, she was beautiful as a rose and absolutely glowing in her soft skin complexion. Walking up to her I took both of her hands and kissed her knuckles, easing down on one knee in front of her

'What are you doing Jeff?'

'You'll see honey' I smiled and reached into my jean pocket, pulling out a small velvet box and prising it open to reveal a two carrot engagement ring. Eyes watering in her pearl green eyes as I pulled out the ring. 'Tamzin Bayle will you marry me?'

'Yes Jeff, I'll marry you' she replied hoarsely, happy tears streaming down her cheeks as I slid the engagement ring on her finger, rising to my feet and embracing her as I kissed her soft lips as the tears rolled down on Tamzin's face…..

After composing ourselves half an hour later we finally left the house, our hands still connected as we drove to the ambulance station, parking up near the shutter door of the ambulance bay, entering the quite bay Dixie, Big Mac and Iain coming out of the common room to greet us

'What are you doing back here stranger, you're still on authorised leave' Dixie asked

'I know Dixs but I'm here… we're here to resign together from the service'

'You can't do that you are both of Holby's finest paramedic' Big Mac stated

'Big Mac is right you can't resign like that without giving me a notice period first'

'Are you sure this is what both you guys want to do, if it is then I'm happy for the both of you's' Iain interjected

'This is what we want Iain' Tamzin replied

'And we're given our notice period today for two weeks' time when we leave for good so where till on holiday leave and not just dropping it in the dark'

Dixie couldn't take any more of the conversation and it was written all over her face about what she thought of us leaving Holby but most importantly the massive gape in her life we'd made over the years. We'd said our goodbyes to Big Mac and Iain in the bay and I headed after Dixie to her office alone with both of our uniforms in hand, knocking on the door I entered the cold room and it felt like a broken heart had been ripped out of here

'You okay Dixs'

'Yeah I'm fine Jeffery'

'You most definitely don't look it princess, are you upset that I'm leaving'

'It just came as just a shook that you both wanted to leave the service, I'd understand if you both wanted to work separate shifts for obvious reasons'

'We're both happy Dixs and want to start a new life together, I've even proposed to her'

'You haven't have you. Please tell me she's said yes'

'Tamzin's said yes to my proposal but that doesn't mean things are over between us Dixs'

'What do you mean Jeff?'

'What we had together will always be special to me and once in a lifetime kind of thing but we will always be the A team no matter what or where we are in the world, I love you princess'

'What we did have was special to me too Jeff and something I'll never have that again when you're gone and you better keep in contact or I'll hunt you down and kill you Jeffery'

'Wouldn't have it any other way Dixs'

'I love and I'm going to miss ya kid' she sighed gently with tears filling her blue eyes, walking into her embrace and holding her tightly. 'Look after yourself, Tamzin, baby and take care of yourself kid' she whispered into my eye

Leading her out to the ambulance bay again we met Tamzin and the others perched on the end of the opened ambulance, I helped Tamzin to her feet and said our goodbyes again to each other and the radio buzzed on Dixie's belt

'Holby control to three zero zero six over, 2 crews required for warehouse fire at Ashington road, persons reported'

Dixie retrieved the radio from her belt and I swiped it out of her grasp and pressed the intercom as old habits die hard

'Three zero zero six to control' I exclaimed, I needed to let go of the old habit to responding first and hand the radio back over. Dixie grabbed her radio and pressed the intercom

'Three zero zero six to control we're on our way over' she informed

Dixie, Iain and Big Mac moved sharply to their ambulances as we stood out of the way of outgoing ambulances, our gaze met and I winked at her for luck as her smile grew and then Dixie winked back as the ambulance whizzed past out of the bay. Taking one last good look at the place we headed outside to sunny afternoon and back to the car, climbing inside of the warm interior and setting the air con on in the car

'You ready to leave Holby and set off to the sunny shores of Bournemouth' Tamzin asked

'More than ready, I've been waiting my whole life for this moment. Getting the girl and driving off to my second home' I admitted. 'To our new life together'

'To our new life'

I leaned over and softly sealed our lips together, smiling widely as our gaze met and we pulled away from the station and down the road, heading to sunny Bournemouth to start a new and happy chapter in our lives together….

_I would like this story to be in tribute to Matt Bradock aka Jeff Collier for giving us fans of the show absolutely great memories for an amazing seven years of our beloved hero Jeff. I'd like to thank Gemma Atkinson for portraying the character Tamzin Bayle so beautifully and enabling me the chance to write this love story about them so I'd like this also to be in tribute to the relationship of Jeff & Tamzin. _


End file.
